We throw around the word resilience in business like it means something. Pivot. Bounce back. Grind through. You see it on keynote slides and LinkedIn posts every week. Most of the people using it have never seen real resilience up close.
My sister passed away on Monday. She was 18 years older than me. We never lived under the same roof. But she was the reason I know what the word actually means.
She fought kidney disease for 50 years. Five decades of dialysis and medication throughout her life. Three transplants. Hospital stays that would have broken anyone. A body that kept trying to pull her out of the game from the time she was young. And inside those 50 years, she became a real estate investor bigger than life in this country. Block by block, deal by deal, relationship by relationship. In 2018, one of the biggest banks in Canada bought the company she helped found. That is the kind of outcome most entrepreneurs dream about and never come close to. She pulled it off while her body was failing her.
One of her three kidneys came from my brother. After that second transplant she had two children. She raised a family while her own body kept fighting against her. That is not a metaphor for resilience. That is the definition of it.
Most operators I talk to think resilience is about toughing out a bad quarter. Weathering a slow season. Surviving a supplier issue or a staffing crisis or a bad review cycle. That is not resilience. That is just being in business. Real resilience is what my sister did. It is the deal you close from a hospital waiting room. The business you build while your body is failing you.
She did not build her empire despite one hard year. She built it across many years of being sick. She understood something most of us never learn. Every day you get to work on something you care about is a day worth using completely. She did not waste days.
If you run a restaurant in this country right now, you are feeling pressure. Margins are thin, as we all know. Costs are up and going up more. Foot traffic is down. I hear it every week on our podcast. Every operator I know has reasons they could use to justify coasting. Family stress. Health problems. Financial pressure. Burnout. These are all real. My sister had more reason than any of us to stop. She chose not to. You are not being asked to build from a hospital bed. You are being asked to build from a kitchen with everything you need already in it. Staff. Food. Customers who want to come back. The operators who make it through this decade will be the ones who understood that resilience has nothing to do with how hard life is. It has everything to do with how seriously you take the time you have to work on something that matters.
Here is the truest part. My sister was one of the most successful business people I have ever known and I know a ton. She built something real. She left a real legacy in her industry. And if you had asked her in those last years when she was tired of fighting, she would have traded every deal, every dollar, every acquisition offer for one more year of good health. That is not a knock on success. That is the full picture of success that most business content leaves out. The goal is not to build a business at the cost of the life behind it. The goal is to build a business that makes the life behind it richer. Whatever you are working on this week, make sure the people you love know where they stand in your world. My sister made sure everyone around her knew directly or indirectly.
She was small in size, just my little but older sister. I will say it again because it matters. Small in stature. Tough as a rock in every way that counted. She walked into rooms full of men three times her size and she ran those rooms. Not by being loud. By being completely, absolutely, undeniably present. That is another kind of resilience. The kind that does not announce itself. The kind that just keeps showing up. Keeps doing the work. Keeps building. Keeps loving. Keeps proving that what you are made of has nothing to do with what you look like or what your body is putting you through.
She was my big sister. I am 18 years behind her in age and I will spend the rest of my career trying to match a fraction of what she built and how she built it.
If you are reading this and you are struggling in your business, I understand. I truly understand as I take Ashton Media to the next level. If you are reading this and you are healthy and you have been taking it for granted, I understand that too. I have done both in the same year. The gift is that you are here. You got today. You got this week. You got the chance to work on something that matters and come home to people who matter. My sister is gone. She used every day she had. She built something that outlasted her. She raised a family that carries her forward. The question for the rest of us is what we are going to do with the time we still have.
This one is for you my big sister.
Jay Ashton | Canada's Restaurant Guy Founder, Ashton Media | Co-Host, The Late Night Restaurant Podcast | NEED Magazine | NO|BS News | Platted Newsletter.
